the sun is falling
by pegasus magic
Summary: [Besides, it's not like the questionable feelings he has for the Lan in his dreams will translate into the Lan of the real world—who's his brother, might he add. There's virtually no way he's going to fall for his brother of all people.] Or: Fate is a menace, and Hub is forced to reconsider what he really wants. —megaman/lan; reincarnation au


**title is from twilight by oneus.**

**warning for (tw)incest.**

* * *

When Hub wakes, it's to a bright light, which is shadowed behind even brighter eyes.

The owner of the glittering eyes flashes Hub a wide smile, his teeth dizzyingly white. "Finally awake, Mega?"

If Hub didn't know where he is before, then the nickname is a dead giveaway. Hub offers the man hovering above him an easygoing smile, steadily getting up from his reclining position, though the action proves to be a mistake when a sharp pain races up his arm and across his shoulders.

He looks down and grimaces at the sight he's greeted with: His right arm is, for a lack of a better word, butchered, the protective plates cracked and dented, wires poking through some of the gaps.

The man across from him sighs, wrapping a dainty hand around Hub's arm, right above the metallic carnage. "Sorry, I should have warned you about that."

Hub sighs, waving his uninjured hand in a dismissive gesture. It's certainly not this man's fault for the state he's in—if anything, it's his consciousness' fault for conjuring dreams so lucid that pain, no matter its level of intensity, doesn't escape him.

On one hand, it's certainly fascinating that such complicated stimuli is replicated almost perfectly in his dream world, but that intrigue is dashed when Hub found out that sometimes those pains follow him into the real world, trailing after him like a phantom.

"That's all right, Lan," Hub says, giving the man a smile in hopes to soothe his pain.

The man—Lan—smiles back, small and shy, before looking down at his hand still wrapped around Hub's arm. His face blushes instantly, cheeks colored a pretty pink that Hub hates himself for staring a bit too intently at it, and wretches his hand away, cradling it to his chest as if he'd been burned.

"A-Anyway," Lan says, the pink dusting his cheeks now lighter in hue, his hand nervously fisting the fabric of his white coat, "I can't stay for too long. I came here just to check up on you before I have to go back."

Hub doesn't have an organic heart in this world, but he imagines if he did, it would be racing, its beat racketing like gunfire in his ribcage. Instead, a pleasant, tingly feeling courses through him at the prospect of Lan rushing over to the medical ward soon after having heard the announcement of the troop's arrival just to see _him_.

"I don't think anyone expects you to return to your post so quickly," Hub says, proud that his voice is level—he doesn't need it to waver and expose the unrest brewing inside him. "If anyone did, I'd beat them up for you."

"Hah!" Lan snorts, inelegant and kind of gross, but Hub finds it endearing all the same. "Awfully bold words coming from a combat reploid who never fought before now."

"Whatever, it's the thought that counts," Hub concedes, rolling his eyes. Though Lan's only teasing, he's still speaking the truth. It took time for Hub to figure out what his assigned role in this world was, and his shock was depthless when he found out his production value was in his combat skills, prompting the resistance forces to draft him for solely battle related missions.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean," Lan says, his face lighting up into a wide grin as his melodic laugh envelops the silent medical bay. That tingly feeling from earlier acts up again, nestling like an itch in Hub's throat.

"Anyway, it seems you're fine—" He pointedly ignores Hub's derisive snort at that. "—quiet you, you went through worse and you know it. In any case, I'll be taking my leave now."

Hub has to bite down the disappointed sigh threatening to spill from him, reminding himself that it's better this way—the less he and Lan talk, the less opportunity he has of slipping and revealing himself as an outsider. It doesn't matter how disheartening it may seem, it doesn't matter that an inexplicable sadness fills him when Lan talks to him for less than a minute before duty whisks him away, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, _it doesn't matter_.

Instead, he forces a charming smile, preparing himself to bid Lan farewell. However, his brow contorts in visible confusion when the man is still rooted in place, mussy brown hair shadowing the movements of his head as he shakes it side to side.

Lan brings up his eyes to look at Hub directly, that adorable shade of pink back to paint his cheeks once again. Taking a deep breath, Lan slinks forward, his hands stubbornly stuffed into the pockets of his white lab coat.

Before Hub could voice his concerns, a soft touch graces the corner of his mouth, freezing Hub in place. Not a single sound leaves him as Lan pulls away silently, the flat line of his lips and brow declaring his embarrassment.

"I know the injury is minor, but that doesn't stop me from worrying, idiot," Lan says, an unmistakable hint of fondness coloring his tone, before turning on his heel and stalking towards the door, his coat billowing behind him like a cape. The whisk of the automatic door sliding shut signals Lan's exit, but the sound is overwhelmed by the pounding of Hub's proverbial heart.

_Shit_, Hub thinks, his uninjured hand coming up to grasp at the plating on his chest, right above where the human heart should be. His dark fringe obscures his eyes when his head tips forward, and Hub folds in on himself. _He's never done that before_.

Hub has half a mind to yank Lan back in and demand an explanation, but the logical part of his brain reminds him that it's not Lan's fault—it _can't_ be Lan's fault because the man is oblivious to the true nature of his and Hub's relationship, with Hub reluctant to reveal said relationship lest he upset this world's balance or whatnot. If anything, the blame should be cast on Hub and Hub alone.

After all, who in their right mind would enjoy being nearly kissed by the dream counterpart of their twin brother?

/

This time, when Hub wakes, it's to the white ceiling of his bedroom.

Hub slowly blinks the exhaustion out of his eyes, his vision bleary as he sits up and drags a hand through his dark, mussed hair. He shakes his head a bit to the side to fully dispel the remnants of sleep from his system before taking a cursory glance around the room, making sure of his surroundings.

Nodding to himself, he finally gathers enough strength to heave himself off the bed and trudge wearily to the bathroom. As he washes his face, he thinks that maybe he should be grateful that his subconscious is merciful enough to only pull him into that dream world at mission interims. He doesn't know how he's been evading firsthand battle experience since these visits have started, but Hub's not the type to question such convenience.

As Hub walks back to his room, he passes an open door, frenzied shouts and disgruntled groans spilling into the hallway. He creeps up to the door, taking a peek into his brother's bedroom: The unmade bed occupying the side adjacent to the door, the dresser next to it bearing numerous trinkets and other miscellaneous objects, the desk at the far corner holding a computer with a boy hunching closer to the screen as he yells things into the headset, his fingers flailing wildly on the keyboard.

Hub lets out a sigh, feeling equal parts relieved and exasperated—at least someone was having fun. When he turns to leave, his foot accidentally knocks against the doorframe, prompting Lan to face towards his direction. How Lan heard that minor sound despite his shouting and the video game music blaring from his headset directly into his ears was beyond Hub's comprehension.

A wide smile splits Lan's face, making Hub's traitorous heart race. "Hey, you're finally up!"

Squashing down the fluttery feeling working up his throat, Hub sits down on Lan's bed. Visibly grimacing at the bed's state of disarray, he says, "Yeah, thanks for waking me up."

"That's not fair," Lan says, pink lips twisting into a pout and doing dangerous things to Hub's state of mind. "I tried to wake you up, like, two hours ago, but you still kept sleeping! I even brought Mom up and she couldn't wake you; it was like you were in some coma!"

Hub's brow furrows at that. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Lan huffs, crossing his arms over his chest in a rather melodramatic fashion. "You honestly don't believe me when it comes to anything, do you?"

Hub's heart clenches at the hint of bitterness edging Lan's words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't expect to be asleep for so long."

Lan raises a brow, then shrugs, seemingly satisfied with the apology. "Whatever, it doesn't matter much to me." He fiddles with the keyboard a bit, fingers tapping across the buttons in an anxious rhythm before he asks, "Why do you think you were sleeping so hard? You're not exactly a heavy sleeper."

It's a valid question, but it makes Hub freeze nonetheless. In an instant, the memory of his dream crashes into him like water overtaking a dam: Lan's soft touch on his arm, Lan's quiet words, Lan's unspoken concerns, Lan's almost _kiss_.

"You know, I really can't say," Hub says, his face feeling hot, and he's hoping to high heavens that he's not blushing.

_That's your brother, that's your brother, that's your brother, don't forget—_

"That's interesting." Lan makes an inquisitive noise, his head tilting to the side as a finger comes up to tap the plush of his bottom lip, oblivious to how the action absolutely kills Hub inside. He cracks a huge grin as he says, "I guess even the great Hub has his weaknesses."

Lan's head shakes a bit as he laughs to himself, brown strands scattering and Hub has to curb the urge to run his fingers through the soft hair, wanting to touch Lan as softly and as fondly as Lan had regarded him.

_That's not him_, Hub thinks to himself, angry for even entertaining the notion. _That's not him!_

The Lan before him is young, naive and untouched by sorrow, when compared to the adult Lan in his dreams, hardened by the adversity that world has put him through. And despite it all, the Lan in his dreams still shows some aspects of the Lan before him. In the brief encounters he's had with the man, Hub has needled cracks into the man's mental barrier, slowly peeling back the icy exterior to expose the Lan he's known as his brother: A childish, stubborn boy with a big heart and bigger dreams.

They're so different and yet so alike that it's unnerving—and it's going to drive Hub crazy.

"Yeah, I guess so," Hub concedes, hoping his voice is level.

Lan fixes him a narrow-eyed glare, suspicion written all over his face, and, for a second, Hub is worried that he's going to get called out.

Instead, Lan shrugs a moment after, and Hub is ever so grateful that his brother is long used to his bait for arguments being dismissed. "All right, whatever works for you, man. By the way, Mom is out. She said lunch is in the fridge, you just have to heat it up."

"Okay, thanks," Hub says, though it goes ignored as Lan places the headset over his ears again, oblivious to the world.

Snorting to himself at his brother's typical behavior, Hub exits their bedroom and closes the door behind him. When the door clicks shut, he heaves a long sigh, his back settling on the wall beside the door.

A pathetic laugh escapes Hub as he drags a hand up his forehead and into his hair. He couldn't believe he was seconds away from a breakdown just because—

Hub stills, and he can practically tell the exact second his bloods runs cold. Because…what? What exactly is he getting nervous for? He can't deny that he nearly conflated the two distinct versions of Lan into one person, but anyone else would in his position, right? It's a given that if one were presented two versions of a person dear to them, one would automatically look for similarities.

Besides, it's not like the questionable feelings he has for the Lan in his dreams will translate into the Lan of the real world—who's his brother, might he add. There's virtually no way he's going to fall for his brother of all people.

As Hub goes down the steps to enter the kitchen, he worries that his conviction isn't as strong as he would have expected it to be.

/

When he finishes up breakfast (or was it lunch?), Hub goes up to his room. His steps falter, leaving him to stand in the middle of the staircase. There's a nervous thumping in his chest, and no matter how hard Hub tries to quell the feeling, his heart still pounds away, as if trying to escape his ribcage and burst out into the open for all to see its pitiful state.

Hub shakes his head, trying to dispel his anxiety is if it were a tangible thing. He internally berates himself for such shameful behavior: It's just his brother, what is he so afraid of?

Yet the very idea of climbing up those steps and possibly facing Lan again during his journey back to his room has Hub rooted to the spot, unease creeping up his legs and rendering them useless. He can't even summon enough energy to lift a single foot up before it wobbles in the air pathetically and he's forced to plant it back down.

Hub suddenly feels the urge to yell in outrage—since when was he this spineless? If Lan were to see him right now, he wouldn't hear the end of it; he'd be laughed into an early grave!

_C'mon, you're better than this,_ Hub thinks, appalled at himself for his cowardice. _You're a Hikari for crying out loud!_

He crows in triumph—internally, of course; he doesn't need any more evidence to add to his already high enough pile of reasons Lan makes fun of him for—when his jitters begin to fade and he's regained use of his limbs. In fact, he's so giddy that he practically flies up the steps and wrenches open Lan's bedroom door all within a span of a few seconds.

He hadn't realized he opened the wrong door until it's too late, Lan turning in his rotating chair to fix Hub an expectant look as he puts aside his headset.

"Is there something you need?" Lan asks, after a few moments of silence.

Hub just stares in reply, his hand twitching from where it sits on the doorknob. The nervous feeling from before returns with a vengeance, rendering his throat useless.

Lan raises a single eyebrow, the motion making Hub feel even more idiotic than he assumed possible. When the silence drags on, painfully so, Lan huffs and gestures with his hands.

"What?" Hub asks, unsure of what exactly Lan is gesticulating.

"Are you serious?" Lan says, irritation twisting his mouth into a thin line. "You just storm in here and you're not going to explain why?"

"I didn't—" At Lan's glare, Hub pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. "I didn't _storm_ in here."

"Then why did you open the door like that?" Lan smirks a moment after, head tilting and cheek resting on his fist. "Don't tell me you were running from a ghost and needed your precious little brother to protect you?"

Hub flushes, his arms falling to his sides and hands clenched into tight fists. "Wha—First of all, why would I need protection from someone _younger_ than me? I got the wrong door, okay? I didn't think I even slammed it that hard, anyhow. Jeez, is it a crime to make a mistake?"

Lan shrugs, nonchalant, but Hub can clearly make out the hurt tinging those deep brown eyes. Hub is in the process of apologizing for his outburst when Lan says, "Dude, relax, I was just teasing you. I didn't mean anything by it, you know that."

Hub _does_ know that—he and Lan are always ruthlessly teasing each other for their respective failures, but they make sure that it's never taken too far. Today, however, feels different—a normally harmless comment would never get Hub this agitated, and he fears the anxiety stemming from his dream might be causing a drastic change in his temper.

"I'm sorry," he says after a deep sigh, skin prickling from shame at his outburst. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's fine," Lan says, immediately, and it makes Hub's heart hurt—Lan, for all his antics, really is too forgiving for his own good. "Are you sure you're okay? You're usually not like this."

Hub knows; he's painfully aware. He laughs, hoping it doesn't sound as awkward to Lan as it does to him. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think I'm just tired."

"You just slept," Lan points out, a frown marring his pretty face. "And for longer than I did, which is worrisome in its own right."

"…It's not the kind of tired that sleep can fix," Hub concedes, hoping Lan would drop the issue. If there's one thing Hub admired about his brother, it's his stubborn streak. His fierce loyalty is nothing to scoff at either; if something worried him, he wouldn't let it rest.

Lan is quiet, contemplating, before his shoulders sag and he says, "Okay, I understand. We're teenagers, this stage is to be expected. To be honest, I just didn't expect you to go through it." His eyes widen a bit and he shakes his hands in a gesture of surrender when he notices Hub's humorless smile. "N-Not that I meant anything by that! I thought—"

"It's fine," Hub interjects, before Lan's foot can get further acquainted with his mouth. "I get what you mean."

"Heh, sorry. You know I'm not too good with words." Lan smiles, sheepish, and rubs the back of his head, the action worsening his bedhead. Hub thinks he looks cute regardless.

"I know," Hub says, making Lan's eyes go wide, and he has to muffle his snort behind his hand. He can't fault his brother for such a reaction—instead of rebuking Lan, like he usually would have done, he indulges him. Feeling cheeky, Hub says, "As long as you try your best, that's all that matters, right?"

"W—What's gotten into you?!" Lan splutters, his cheeks turning a fetching shade of pink. "Now I _know_ something's wrong with you!"

Hub can't help it; he doubles over in laughter as tremors wrack his frame, his shoulders shuddering under the pressure. When Lan begins to petulantly whine, he laughs even harder, his hands clutching at his stomach as tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

"It wasn't even that funny," Lan grumbles, pouting, burrowing deeper into his chair.

"It was pretty funny," Hub says when his fit dies down, mirthful grin on his face. "I can't believe you think that my being supportive is indicative of there being something wrong with me."

Lan huffs, throwing his arms in the air. "Well, excuuuuse me; I'm not the one who's had severe mood swings today! Can you blame me if I'm a little lost?"

Hub sighs, tension bleeding from his frame. Without even trying, Lan always finds a way to make him feel better. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to talk about, but I appreciate it." With a dazzling smile to further emphasize his gratitude, he says, "Really."

The pout hasn't left Lan's pink lips, but the teen shrugs anyway, seemingly satisfied with Hub's resolve. Then, he fixes Hub a stern look, his typically soft and warm brown eyes hardening into a fierce stare, boring into Hub's very soul as if to dare him not to look away. "Okay, I'll take your word for it. But, if I can help, let me know, okay? I know it's rich coming from me, but I still worry for you, idiot."

_But that doesn't stop me from worrying, idiot._

An unbidden blush paints Hub's cheeks instantly, his gaze unwittingly dropping to Lan's pouty lips, and Hub can pinpoint the exact moment his mental faculties have shut down. Just when he thought he's broken out of his Lan-induced stupor, he's diving back in. His heart begins to race, sweat already beginning to form at his nape.

Lan, befuddled by the sudden silence, looks at Hub expectantly, patiently waiting for his answer. Hub isn't one to spill his secrets at a moment's notice, but if Lan keeps peering at him in such adorable confusion, he'll come close to disproving that particular trait.

"Yeah, I'll let you know," Hub finally says when his voice decides to work. "Anyway, I'm really sorry about all this; I'm glad you've been patient with me. Thank you, seriously."

The twist in Lan's brow doesn't lessen, but his confusion is belied by the pink blooming along his cheeks. "Don't make it into such a big deal; it's what brothers are for, after all."

Brothers. Hub is ashamed that, even for an instant, he's allowed himself to forget such a crucial fact. Sure, they're closer than most twins their age, but that's all they're supposed to be—_have_ to be—and there's nothing Hub can do about it.

Mood sinking, Hub gives Lan another smile, albeit strained, and moves over to ruffle his twin's hair, much to the teen's chagrin. "I'm glad you're my brother then."

Lan swats at Hub's hand, carding his own hands through his hair to return it back to its, as he dubs it, artfully messy style. "You're going to regret saying that by tomorrow, but I'll take what I can get."

Hub rolls his eyes, pinching Lan's cheek for the retort. "Then don't make me regret it, dummy."

Lan's eyes crinkle from the force of his laugh, and Hub could've sworn he's never seen anything more beautiful. "You've been with me since birth: You know better than to say that, stupid older brother."

It's obviously bait, but Hub can't allow such blatant disrespect. He charges over to Lan's side and swiftly takes the teen into a headlock, forcing his brother's head into his armpit. "Take that back!"

Lan squeals, fist thumping at Hub's back as he flails about, his dramatics making Hub laugh. "Never!"

They spend the rest of the afternoon like that, wrestling and teasing one another like how brothers usually do. Hub's stormy heart, weighed down by his earlier misgivings, slowly eases into a relative calm, even if it's only for a little while.

/

That same night, Hub dreams again.

This time, it takes Hub only a few seconds to recognize his surroundings. He's in the medical bay again, but unlike last time, he's sitting up, and the beds around him are now occupied by fellow robots, all of whom seem to be in various degrees of pain.

He nearly flinches when a body frets about him, having been too preoccupied with observing the anguished people around him. The stranger picks up his arm—which Hub just notices has been lax, limping uselessly at his side—poking at it with gadgets that Hub can't name while mumbling under his breath.

The man harshly prods at a section of his forearm, making Hub wince. It's then that Hub realizes it's the same arm that was been wounded the last time he's dreamt and Hub silently gulps. This person is handling his arm professionally, as if accustomed to the level of damage already, and the only other person who's seen his arm in such a state was…

Hub has to refrain from cursing aloud when the stranger lifts his head and, before he can avoid it, he's making eye contact with the man who's been recently on his mind.

"Is it hurting?" Lan asks him, his mouth contorting with worry. "You have this look on your face…"

"Ah, no, it doesn't hurt," Hub answers at the exact moment a spark of pain shoots up his mechanical arm. Now that he's paying proper attention, he belatedly registers the faint ringing in his earpieces, a wide range of his machine body feeling sore and burdensome.

Lan sighs, resigned, fiddling with the small, jagged pieces jutting out from the busted armor on Hub's forearm. "Please don't lie for my sake."

"S-Sorry," Hub says, guilt bubbling at the pit of his stomach. Judging from Lan's tone, it seems like the Hub of this universe persistently lies about his body's condition to assuage Lan's worry. It makes Hub wonder if it would make him a bad person if he were to admit that he would have done the same in such a position—which is all kinds of ironic, all things considered.

Lan just shakes his head in a dismissive motion, as if he's heard it a million times before. "Sometimes I wonder what Doctor Light was thinking when he designed a robot with sensitivity to pain. As if the whole free will thing wasn't enough."

Hub perks up when he hears that, and he has to stop himself from excitedly squirming in his seat at the prospect of new information. "You think he shouldn't have done that?"

Lan snorts, seemingly done with his work as he stands up to his full height—which isn't all that impressive, much to Hub's delight—and sets his instruments down on the bed, right next to Hub. "I just think it's a bit counterproductive, but if the good doctor believed that his creation had to mimic as much of the human as possible, who am I to say no?"

He huffs a bitter laugh, crossing his arms as a slightly angered inflection colors his tone. "It doesn't matter; he's been dead for decades now, so it's no use mulling over whether he was right or wrong."

"But you think he's wrong," Hub says, uncertain. Seeing such a negative emotion, no matter how minor, gnaw at Lan makes Hub feel uneasy.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter what I think," Lan says, softly, like he's too afraid to voice his thoughts aloud.

"It matters to me," Hub blurts out, and his chest warms at the sight of Lan's slowly reddening face. "I care about what you think."

By the end of his sentence, Lan's face is fully red, resembling the chili peppers the Lan of his world is so oddly fond of. Distantly, Hub wonders if this Lan also holds similar food preferences, but he dashes that thought immediately—he's not even sure if the food exists here, and it's not like he can really bring up such topics given the context.

Lan turns his head to the side, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he mumbles something to himself. With all his robot anatomy, Hub can't decipher what the man had said, making him pout in frustration.

"Well, if you really want to know," Lan starts, moving his hand away to reveal his now slightly flushed face, "I don't think the doctor was completely wrong. His work was definitely revolutionary, and deserved all the praise it got. I simply think, after having found X, it was redundant for Doctor Cain to produce new generation reploids in X's image."

Hub can practically hear the proverbial gears in his head turning, filing away each new tidbit of information for later deliberation. He's not sure if it's useful to keep track of these things, but coming to this world completely clueless each visit gets old fast.

"What would you change, then?" Hub finds himself asking. He tilts his head to the side when Lan's mouth opens slightly, as if in shock. Had he really asked something so strange? "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

Lan blinks, his cheeks coloring again, as he gently sways his head in denial. "No, you didn't. You just…caught me off guard," he says, his lips stretching into a small smile, and Hub thinks it's equally as gorgeous as his laugh.

"To be honest, I thought the fatal flaw in Light's designs was giving his creation the full spectrum of human emotion," Lan says, one hand in his coat pocket while the other fiddles with his collar. "It was like he was trying to recreate the human spirit, but with a machine. To me, it felt like trying to inject feelings into, say, a gun or a train. It doesn't really make sense."

Hub pouts; the logical part of him knows that he's fully human, but after spending some time as a robot—a reploid, as he found out merely a moment ago—he's grown rather protective of this aspect of himself. "I don't know how to feel about being compared to a talking car."

Lan snorts, the sound inelegant but Hub finds it endearing nonetheless. "Shut it, machine."

"Ouch," Hub says, miming an injury to his heart and making Lan giggle. He pauses, pondering over a slip in Lan's words, and says, "Wait, you said you 'thought'? As in, past tense?"

"Yeah," Lan says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't think that way anymore, of course. It would be stupid of me to join the reploids and their cause if I still thought that way, wouldn't it?"

Hub chuckles, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm not sure if I can trust you anymore." Ignoring Lan's squawk of protest, he asks, "What changed your mind?"

At that, Lan goes uncomfortably silent, his face an unreadable expression. For a second, Hub feels as if the air had gone frigid, and he's tempted to shiver if not for Lan's blank stare piercing into him.

Lan sighs, shaking his head. "…I take that back: I think giving _you_ the full spectrum of emotion was a bad idea."

"Hey!" Hub protests, his ego wounded. "What did I do?!"

"Don't get mad at me," Lan says, shrugging. "I'm just telling you the truth: It's pointless to give emotions and higher intelligence to someone who can't even use it to understand what's in front of him."

Hub immediately thinks of his twin, the goofball with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He gets the inkling that mentioning that would result in getting rebuked, so he says, "And what's in front of me?"

Lan looks at him skeptically, before sighing in resignation. With a rueful smile, he says, "I have to go help out the others. Rest well, Mega. You'll need it."

Before Hub can further retort, Lan is moving away, his white coat billowing behind him like a cape. The scenery around his retreating frame blurs to a blinding white before the image fizzes out completely. A second later, Hub is awake, staring up at his bedroom's ceiling and utterly sleepless the entire night.

/

The next day is a school day, which makes Hub happy for once. Contrary to popular belief (read: Lan's personal opinion), just because Hub studies hard doesn't mean he necessarily likes school.

He and Lan speed through their morning routine, which is unlike how most mornings in the Hikari household go. Traditionally it would be Hub spending his morning in considerable ease as he amusedly watches Lan fret about in a manic rush, trying to put clothes on while simultaneously scarfing down breakfast as he curses at his twin for not waking him up sooner, to which Hub would reply scathingly that he did try and then their mother would come down before the squabble intensifies any further, playing as mediator between the two.

Today, Lan is the one teasing him as Hub hastily puts on his uniform, who in turn glares at his fully dressed twin calmly munching on a piece of toast with a smug smile playing at his lips. Distantly, Hub wonders whether the other Lan would share these eating habits, or if age would refine him and make him more elegant.

Shaking his head to dispel distracting thoughts, Hub bitterly says, "Okay, Lan, I didn't wake up on time. You can make fun of me later, not all of us has turned lateness into an art form yet."

Ignoring Lan's answering huff, Hub goes back to fixing his uniform, looking in the full body mirror to make sure nothing is askew. As he adjusts his tie, his thoughts drift, mostly on how the other Lan would react to Hub's appearance—the human rather than the reploid. Would he think of Hub as handsome, or would he be too put off by the fleshiness, too used to his metal bits?

At his mother's call, Hub snaps out of his musings, inwardly cursing as he checks the time. As he races down to the kitchen to finish breakfast, he tells himself to stop daydreaming so much—it's starting to get bad, and if anyone else were to notice…

A few minutes later, the twins set out, waving to their mother before running off into their school's direction. They miraculously make it in time, due to Hub insisting on running across the street even if the light didn't indicate to, much to Lan's surprise. They reach homeroom right before the first bell signals the beginning of class, each twin plopping down onto their respective seats with matching relieved sighs.

The morning passes by uneventfully, save for a teacher picking on Lan and Dex to answer questions when the two clearly haven't been paying attention, much to the amusement of the whole class, Hub included (though he makes sure to stifle his giggles lest Lan hears him and subsequently awards him with a stern scolding).

When lunch break starts, Hub turns around to face his twin, who's already ripping through his bento, stray pieces of rice stuck on his lips. Dex, whose chair has been moved next to Lan's, is in a similar condition, and if Hub didn't know any better, the two were probably competing to see who could finish lunch the fastest. He hears someone scoff behind him, and he rotates to greet Yai and Maylu, their lunch boxes already in hand.

"You guys are such monkeys," Yai says, brushing a yellow braid over her shoulder as she sets her lunch box on Hub's desk, Maylu in tow.

Lan and Dex pause in their rampage to give the girls a hasty greeting before reassuming their task to shove as much food into their mouths as physically possible, making Maylu scowl. She faces Hub, saying, "I don't know how you live with this, Hub."

Hub shrugs, taking out his own lunch box and digging into it a touch less ferociously than the teens in front of him. "Well, you get used to it."

Yai blanches, her small face pinched into an unsavory expression. "I don't think this is something I could get used to."

"Shut it, rich girl," Lan quips in between bites, chunks of chewed food spraying from his mouth and making Maylu grimace.

"Would it kill you to have some sort of manners?" Maylu asks, her lips thinning into a stern line.

"Yes, it would," Lan easily parries, his smug grin obscured by the flurry of his hands as it conveys food from his box to his mouth.

Before Maylu's patience snaps, Hub cuts in with a: "It's not so bad, you know. Living with Lan has its perks."

"Like what?" Yai asks, incredulous, her brows high on her forehead.

"I mean, Lan makes up for his habits by being cute," Hub says, his face schooled into a serious expression. All activity between the group stops—even Dex has stopped eating and just stares at Hub in a hilarious mixture of mirth and confusion.

A beat of silence passes before Yai breaks it with a: "What."

Pointedly ignoring Lan's penetrating stare, Hub says, "I can't be the only one who thinks so." He casts a meaningful glance in Maylu's direction, making the girl blush before she fixes her eyes on her lap.

"…Riiiight," Yai drawls, twirling a braid in between her fingers. "And Dex has model contracts flooding his phone." At the aforementioned teen's dismayed shout, Yai levels him a blank stare, as if inciting him to disagree.

Hub snorts, absentmindedly twirling his chopsticks around. "C'mon guys, it's not like I said something weird, right?"

"Well," Maylu starts, seemingly recovered from her stupor, "its not like it's strange to say that in of itself. It's just strange coming from _you_."

"Because I'm his brother?" Hub finds himself asking, venom leaking into his tone like cracks in a wall.

"What? No, it's not that," Maylu says, visibly taken aback from the snappy retort. "Siblings compliment each other all the time. It's just…we never expected you to talk about Lan like that at all."

And that's the kicker, isn't it? Here Hub thought it would have been odd to say his—very much male—twin was cute, but instead it's odder for _Hub_ himself to say those words because it's uncharacteristic for him to do so.

Lan, who has long since stopped eating, is quiet the entire time. After Maylu stops speaking, he glances over at Hub, only to see his twin already gazing at him…longingly?

Before Lan can comment, the door slides open and the next teacher strolls in. Students pack away their lunches and put chairs pack into their respective places. Maylu and Yai make brief eye contact, silently conversing, before Yai says, "We'll see you guys after class."

The girls shuffle out the room, leaving the guys to sit in a suffocating silence. Dex wordlessly puts away his lunch box and replaces it with his books and pens. Lan stares at Hub, but the teen refuses to look at him, forcing him to sigh and pack away his own box. He gives Hub one more solemn glance before turning forwards to the teacher droning away at the front of the classroom.

Hub sighs, his shoulders drooping from the tension bleeding into his frame. He's looking at the teacher, but everything being said just passes through him like light through glass. As he robotically copies down notes from the chalkboard, he absently wonders if the other Lan would have liked being called cute.

/

The walk home after school is, suffice to say, devastatingly awkward.

Usually the trek home would contain laughter and harmless jiving before the group had to part and walk their separate ways home. This time around, the strange atmosphere that had surrounded Hub during lunch break seems to have followed him, spreading gloom throughout the entire group and making any attempt at conversation fall flat.

Before the mood could worsen, the fork in the road comes to view, leaving all parties save for Lan and Hub feeling relieved. Waving their goodbyes, Maylu and Yai head off in one direction, with Maylu claiming she wants to spend the afternoon at Yai's mansion. Dex, momentarily stunned, jerks after the pair, bidding his own farewell to the twins. He loudly announces to Maylu that he'll be the one to walk her there, to which the girl yells at him while Yai just shakes her head, exasperated.

Lan giggles to himself at his friends' antics, turning his head to see if Hub found it as humorous, only to find the teen staring blankly into space. With a suppressed sigh, he waves a hand in front of Hub's eyes, breaking the teen out of his reverie.

When Hub looks at him questioningly, he says, "Everyone left already."

"Oh, I hadn't realized," Hub says, his eyes still unsettlingly unresponsive. "Let's go, then."

He silently walks in the other direction of the fork, and Lan wordlessly follows, his shoes crunching against the pebbled road.

About halfway through their walk, Lan has enough of the silence and he says, "Hey, Hub, are you all right?"

Hub shoots him a brief glance, though his gaze quickly flits back to the road. "What do you mean? I'm fine."

They stop at a crosswalk, and Lan watches the cars pass by in a colorful blur, finding the sight calming. He says, "Well, I mean, your behavior today was kinda…"

"Kinda what?" Hub asks as they cross the street, the noises of the city around them making his voice sound tiny yet tremendous.

"You're trying to withdraw, aren't you?" Lan finally says, his nerves going haywire. "It's like the time you had that outburst."

Hub stiffens, but he relaxes a moment after and Lan thinks he might have imagined it. His silence pronounces the lull of cars and chatter around them.

Finally, Hub says, "I don't know what's going on with me."

Lan looks at him, his brows knit in worry. "Hub?"

"Lately, the smallest things have been ticking me off and I—" Hub voice cracks, his brown fringe shadowing his eyes. When he looks up, Lan is shocked by the harrowing glint in his eyes. "That's a lie. I know why: Today just confirmed it for me."

The hollow lilt in Hub's voice is distressing. Lan closes in, his hand on Hub's elbow. "Hub, are you okay? You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry." Hub croaks, his hand trembling when it peels Lan's hand off his elbow. "I thought I could control it."

"Control what?" Lan asks. "Hub, what's going on with you?"

Their house comes into view, its blue color nicely contrasting with the vivid green of their lawn. It's a peaceful scene, Lan thinks, one that starkly contrasts the brewing storm beside him.

"I can't tell you," Hub says, clutching the strap of his bag closer to his chest. "I'm sorry, I can't, I can't." Before Lan could blink, he breaks off into a run, his footsteps thumping against the gravel as he rushes past pedestrians and stumbles past the front door.

Lan sighs to himself, hiking the strap of his bag further up his shoulder as he follows his brother's path, albeit slower and less frenzied. When he finally reaches the front door, which was left ajar in Hub's wake, his mother is at the foot of the stairs, her face pinched in worry.

She whirls around when she hears Lan announce his arrival, her kind face contorted with concern. "Lan, what's going on with your brother? He looked so upset."

Lan laughs self-consciously, rubbing the back of his head. He's not sure if he wants to broadcast Hub's turmoil to their mother, so to be on the safe side, he says, "Oh, you know, teenager things. He's going through a phase."

And yet, something deep inside Lan tells him that whatever issue Hub is being tormented by is simply too peculiar to be chalked off as the trials of adolescence, and it worries him immensely—just what is Hub hiding?

/

When Lan's finished with changing out of his school uniform, his mom informs him that Hub has already left.

"What?" Lan asks, disbelieving. His nerd of a brother, the paragon of finishing homework as soon as it's assigned, left the house to go on a run?

"I know, it's very unexpected," Haruka says, her hand on her cheek and her eyes somber. "He used to do this when he was younger, back in his recovery days, but he dropped the habit once his health fully improved."

Lan perks up at that. "He used to run a lot? That explains how he's fast when he wants to be; he should have been in a club for it."

Haruka laughs, her eyes crinkling, showing who Lan has inherited that quirk from. "Ah, it was so long ago. I think probably…during elementary school?"

"So young!" Lan exclaims, his finger tapping his chin in thought. "I don't remember that at all, though."

"You were young, too," Haruka says. "You know how fickle you can get."

"Mom!" Lan complains, pouting, making his mother laugh. "Ah, you said during his recovery days…but, wasn't Hub already out of the hospital during elementary school?"

"That's right," Haruka says, her gaze distant as her mouth twists into a frown. "When Hub was released from the hospital, his body fully healed, but I don't think his spirit did."

"Interesting," Lan says. "So, he ran as some calming exercise, huh? That makes sense; it helps with both strengthening the body and clearing the mind."

"Yeah, exactly!" Haruka chirps, clapping her hands. "Hub said that, too, back when he started it. I'm thinking he stopped once he reached junior high because by then, his spirit probably healed and he didn't find it necessary anymore."

"But, Mom," Lan says, frowning, "why's he doing this now, then? I mean, Hub's not the type to pick up a habit so randomly like that."

Haruka hums in contemplation, her arms crossed. "Well, maybe he's had a lot on his mind lately?"

Lan's mind flashes back to the recent outbursts Hub had, his mood becoming volatile at the most trivial comments. "I think you're onto something."

"Ah, it's almost dinnertime!" Haruka cries, hurrying to the kitchen. "Let's not dwell on this any further, yeah? If Hub is going through something, I'm sure he'll let his dear brother know first."

"Yeah, okay," Lan concedes, but the lingering doubt in his heart says otherwise.

/

As if to personally prove Haruka wrong, Lan spends the following week playing the jester as Hub studiously skirts around the chasm he's put between them.

It seems the only time Lan can find Hub is if they're accompanied by either their friends or their mom, but even then, their dwindling interactions become stilted, Hub's words clipped short as if he's readying himself to dart away at a second's notice. Lan wonders how offended he should feel as Hub increasingly escapes from situations that would leave the two completely alone.

Ever since that day, when Hub had surprisingly woken up later than Lan, the teen has been unmistakably grumpy. He still managed to wake up early—probably couldn't stand the thought of not being on time, Lan muses—but there was a certain tension in his movements that Lan hadn't seen before.

He doesn't respond to any of Lan's jabs, doesn't chastise Lan for neglecting his homework, doesn't pester Lan into hurrying up so that they can make it to school on time. He doesn't even attempt to wake up Lan anymore, which is arguably the biggest offense in Lan's opinion.

If Lan wasn't suspicious before, than this definitely solidified it: Something is plaguing Hub's mind, and it's terrible enough to hinder his daily functions. It's like some fiend scooped out Hub's soul and left behind a hollow husk to perform tasks like a machine. Even his afternoon runs started to dwindle in frequency, with Hub in favor of spending his time holed up in his room.

It's alarming, frighteningly so, and Lan is unsure of what to do. He certainly can't force his brother to interact with his friends, to inject more life into his words so they don't sound so empty, to revert back to the Hub everyone knew him as.

Lan wills his heart to calm down, telling himself that Hub's overanxious tendencies has taken ahold of him. It's only been a week—whatever slump Hub's in, he'll surely come out of it victorious.

/

Hub is standing in some kind of hallway, bustling with people frantically running amok, when someone calls out to him.

"Mega!" Lan shouts, waving his arm to catch the man's attention. "Wait up!"

Hub is motionless as he watches the scientist dash towards him, white coat dirtied with stains of unknown origin. His first thought is how tired the man looks.

"Hey, I've been looking for you!" Lan huffs out, his hand on his chest, fighting to regain breath.

"Did something happen? Am I needed somewhere?" Hub asks, trying to quell the scampering of his heart as soon as he heard Lan's admission. The hedonistic side of him preens at the prospect of Lan actively looking for _him_, but he squashes the notion quickly before it can evolve into something more hopeful.

If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that Lan sought him out more than he did any other reploid at the base, and that makes his traitorous heart absolutely soar.

"No, no, nothing like that." Lan is laughing, his head shaking, and Hub hadn't realized how handsome Lan looks without a bandanna on. "Sorry for worrying you."

"It's all right," Hub says, wishing he could imprint this sight of an older, gleeful Lan permanently into his memory. "Did you need me for something?"

The other man blushes, an endearing visage, coughing into his fist. "Yeah, let's go to the lab. We don't want to get in anyone's way, right?"

Hub nods, following the man as he traverses the intricate passageways, sidestepping hurried reploids with ease. When they reach the lab, the entrance door slides open upon detecting their presence. They amble inside, the door sliding shut behind them with a resounding thud.

The lab looks exactly how Hub imagined it: Machinery smothers the room like paint, computers stacked against walls and wires scattering across the floor. There's a desk hastily shoved into one corner, stacks of paper and writing utensils littering the steel surface.

Lan walks over to his desk, pulling out his rickety chair and gesturing for Hub to sit.

"Ah, I couldn't," Hub says, shaking his head.

"Nonsense," Lan says, waving off Hub's reluctance. "I can just sit on the desk."

To punctuate his point, Lan plops down on his messy desk without a hint of grace, making Hub wince and relent. As he sits down, Hub says, "So, what am I in for, doc?"

Lan laughs, crossing a leg over another. "Don't say it like you're in trouble."

Fondness floods Hub when he hears that sound—he really couldn't get enough of it. "I'm not supposed to feel that way?"

"Fine, you win." Lan huffs, pink lips pulled into a pout. "Yes, I called you in here for a reason, but you're not in trouble…yet."

"Well, that inspires a lot of confidence," Hub says, spreading his legs and hunching over to place his elbows over his knees. "Let me guess: You called me in here because you have an idea, but this idea is something that others would reject."

Lan frowns at him. "It's kinda scary how well you know me."

A certain giddiness fills Hub's system when he hears that. He doesn't bother masking the contentment in his voice when he says, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Pssh, all right, man," Lan says, a hint of pink rising on his cheeks. He schools his expression into something more grim as he says, "Anyway, you're right about that. I think you already know, despite how badly the higher-ups want to hide it, that the war is getting worse."

Dread suffuses through Hub's chest—he's had an inkling that the world he's in is currently undergoing war, but he hadn't been sure of the current state of affairs until now. "I see…"

"I don't know why the government isn't telling you guys," Lan continues, his fingers interlaced on his lap. "Reploids are the ones on the front lines, fighting to protect humanity, and yet humans are throwing them away like…well, like they're replaceable machines."

Hub snorts, heedless to the serious atmosphere. "If I remember correctly, you were the one to claim that you considered reploids as simply machines as well."

Lan flushes, a deep frown marring his youthful face. "I know, don't remind me! Besides," he mutters, casting an unreadable look at Hub under his fluttering eyelashes, "someone changed my mind about that."

Ignoring the racing phantom pulse in his chest, Hub says, "So, the war."

"Ah, yeah," Lan says, blushing for a reason Hub can't fathom. "I overheard this while I was working: The government is receiving reports from our troops, and it seems like the enemy is going to use some super weapon to finish us all. And from the looks of it, this weapon is seriously powerful."

Hub's eyes widen. "That's terrible! And no one else knows this?"

Lan shakes his head, his mussed hair swaying. "Only the higher-ups. It seems like they're going to dispatch X and Zero to deal with that threat, but they're going to make it seem like regular combat against mavericks."

It clicks in Hub's head. "They don't want panic to spread."

Lan's face contorts with thinly veiled rage. "Exactly; they don't want current troops to lose morale. I can't say they're wrong, though—I mean, I'm optimistic, but even I would avoid a losing fight, especially with how terrifying the rumors make out this super weapon to be."

Hub gulps, his fingers trembling. "Is this all you have to tell me?"

"No, sadly." Lan's hand disappears into a drawer attached to his desk, producing a smooth, metallic cube. "The reason I called you here is because I wanted to give you this."

He hands it over to Hub, who takes it and marvels at the steel surface, dark lines criss-crossing at the edges. There is no observable way to open it.

"What's inside?" Hub asks, scrutinizing it under the light.

"A cyber-elf," Lan says, his words soft. Hub didn't see it before, but there are light lines of exhaustion marring the corner of Lan's eyes.

"I don't understand—"

"Please don't tell anyone," Lan pleads, and the weariness in his tone makes Hub's heart break. He sounds so unbelievably _tired_.

Lan scrubs at his eyes, his voice flat. "I know, okay, I know. They die after you use them, so everyone's hesitant on taking them to battle, but they're useful, god, they're so useful that it's actually sickening."

"Yet you're giving me one," Hub says, his fingers tightening around the object in his hand, which is pulsing with energy. It makes him uneasy.

Lan nods slowly. "I am. You don't have to use it if you don't want to, hell, you don't even have to _take_ it, but it would make me rest a bit easier if I knew you kept it with you."

Hub can feel his jaw tense. "Lan, there's something you're not telling me," he says, watching the man flinch from his words. It takes a great deal of effort not to chuck that strange device to the side and just gather this petrified man into his arms.

But the more inquisitive part of him is bursting with need—he absolutely must know what's going on in this world, and why he is being brought here in the form of lucid dreams.

"When I heard those rumors," Lan starts, wringing his hands, "I panicked. You know, I had my doubts about this whole war, and what direction it was going in, but I never dwelled too much on it. I mean, X is a legend, isn't he? There's no reason to doubt his prowess."

He sighs, sitting back on the desk. The light catches the soft curves of his face, and Hub notices how pale the man looks. "But he's not invincible—no one in this war is. When you're out on the battlefield, you're only focussing on what's in front of you. The real pressure is at home base, where you hear bits and pieces of everyone's pain, and when you're tending to reploid injuries as often as I am, there is always so much _pain_."

Hub absently thinks that if he had the function to cry, he would be bawling right now. "Lan, if it's too much…"

Lan laughs, the sound ringing hollow within the walls of his desolate lab. "It's okay, Mega. This is nothing compared to the pain you've felt, right?"

Hub assumes he's referencing the times the Hub—or Mega, as Lan so fondly dubs hims as—of this world has disembarked on those maverick hunting missions. "Not one pain is the same."

Lan stares at him, incredulous, a resigned smile tugging at his lips. "You're right, I guess."

"You guess?" Hub says, sounding mock affronted, tossing the cube back and forth in between his hands. "I guess I've been deluding myself into thinking you care about me this whole time."

At those words, a serious glint enters Lan's eyes. "I do," he says, so soft, like he's whispering a secret Hub's not meant to hear. "I care so much that when I heard about the slightest possibility that some super weapon was going to destroy you out there, I stole a cyber-elf."

Hub's breath hitches, his grip almost painful on the cube. "What?"

"I was told to hand some important documents to the other labs in this base, and I saw that they were studying them. Everyone kinda dodged my questions when I asked, but I'm pretty sure they're being kept for energy storage, or as emergency backups for when the current reploid force needs them."

Hub shakes his head in disbelief, his mind swarming with questions. "And you just—"

"Took one? Yes," Lan says, having the decency to look slightly ashamed. "It was in that lab when I heard the rumor. I overheard some scientists saying that the cyber-elves might be used after all if the enemy puts us in a dangerous position."

"This is crazy," Hub says, a thrumming under his chest plate.

"What is? The looming threat upon us, or my stealing?" Lan asks, his attempt at humor morbid. "If you say the latter, then I really question your priorities."

Hub narrows his eyes. "Lan, I'm being serious. What if you're charged with treachery, or something worse?"

Lan sighs, his shoulders slumping. "It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"You can't!" Hub shouts, shooting up from his seat. "I will march over there and give it back myself, _don't_ test me."

Lan stands up as well, agony painting his expression. "Mega, please! I did it for you!"

"Why?! I didn't ask you to!"

"Because!" Lan croaks, tears welling up in his eyes. Hub gasps, dropping the cube and rushing over to gather Lan into his arms. The man whimpers into his armored shoulder, hands scrabbling at his back for purchase. "I would rather die than let something happen to you, not if I can help it!"

He completely crumples against Hub's body, but the weight is nothing compared to the heaviness weighing down on Hub's mind. Wrapping his arms tightly around Lan's waist, he crushes Lan's body against his, not a single breath of space between them.

Lan cries hard into his shoulder, his anguished wails muffled by Hub's body. Hub dutifully hangs onto the man, one hand rubbing over Lan's back in soothing motions as he whispers comforting words to assuage the man's pain. With how long he's crying, Hub feels as if Lan is pouring out ages of grief, all of which has been bottled up and stowed away for the day Lan reaches his breaking point.

It's pathetic how long it takes for Hub to finally figure it out. He thought he was overthinking it whenever Lan sought him out amongst thousands of reploids, thought he overestimated the amount of fondness Lan seems to hold for him, but seeing the man despair in his arms because the prospect of Hub dying terrified him so badly it drove him to steal a weapon confirms it.

Lan is in love with him and, after all those tumultuous weeks spent in confusion, obsessing over those strange feelings, Hub safely concludes that he feels the same. The realization makes him feel weightless, warmth diffusing throughout his metallic body.

It's unbelievable, really, how irony works. For as much as Hub teased his brother for being dense, he never considered himself to be the same. He supposes this Lan was right for belittling him when he said higher order intelligence was wasted on him—for dealing with obliviousness to this extent, Lan truly had the patience of a saint.

When Lan's tears die down, Hub cups Lan's warm cheek, tilting his head so they lock gazes. Even with his eyes puffy, splotchy red cheeks smeared with drying tears, Hub still thinks of Lan to be beautiful—so frail and so painfully human.

Wiping the remnants of tears from Lan's face with his thumb, Hub inches closer, their faces a breath apart. When Lan doesn't pull away, his gaze quickly darting down to Hub's mouth and then back up again, Hub closes in, embracing warm lips with his own cool ones.

The kiss tastes bittersweet. Lan desperately clutches at Hub's biceps, angling his head to press more firmly. Hub responds by tightly winding his arm around Lan's waist, the hand on Lan's cheek dropping to curl around the man's elbow.

He lets Lan set the pace, the man desperately pressing kisses to his mouth. When they pull away to breathe, they don't part longer for a second, fearing the spell would lift and the other would disappear.

As they kiss, Hub nudges Lan forward, pushing the man until he bumps against the wall. Lan gasps, winding his arms around Hub's neck as a cool mouth trails from his lips to litter kisses over his neck.

Hub then pauses his onslaught of affection, opting to bury his nose into the juncture of Lan's neck and branding this scene into his memory—Lan's smell, sounds, touch, Hub doesn't want to forget a single thing.

Emboldened by the tentative kisses Lan presses against his earpiece, Hub murmurs, "I love you, too."

"Jerk." Lan quietly chuckles, flicking a finger against Hub's cheek. "I haven't even confessed."

"It's okay," Hub says, withdrawing from Lan's neck to show the man his broad grin. "I kind of deduced it from what you were saying earlier."

"About time," Lan says, huffing. "I guess that intellect wasn't wasted on you after all."

"Shut up, would you?" Hub says, pressing himself closer to Lan, which in turn further plasters him against the wall.

"Make me," Lan says, and Hub grins, kissing that wicked smirk off Lan's face.

They don't speak further on Lan's worries—though the threat of war, of cyber-elves and of possible death are all concerns that must be addressed at one point, Hub favors to shuck off Lan's coat instead, sneaking his gloved hands under Lan's shirt to splay over Lan's stomach as he kisses the man into incoherency. He surmises that, just this once, he might as well indulge.

/

The next morning, Hub is terribly restless.

After his dream, he kept tossing and turning, crumpling the sheets as he futilely chased sleep. At some point, he gave up and settled on staring at the photo frame of his family sitting atop his dresser. That soon became a bad idea as the guileless child Lan grinned back at him, an equally as young Hub standing beside him, his small smile sinless, and then the guilt brewing in Hub's chest became unbearable, forcing Hub to look away.

He ended up waking early, the fact made worse since it's a day off from school. With a yawn, he silently pads to the bathroom. When he emerges, he stalks towards the kitchen, his stomach rumbling. Going over to the refrigerator, he swings the door open and examines the contents before deciding to just reheat the previous night's leftovers.

As he piles the food from the plastic container onto a clean plate, he hears light footsteps sound from behind him. He doesn't bother turning around when he says, "Morning, Mom."

"Oh, I've been upgraded now?" a brazen voice asks.

Hub whirls around and sees Lan giving him an amused look, clothes rumpled and hair a fluffy mess. Fighting down the blush threatening to take over his cheeks, Hub says, "Sorry, I thought you were Mom."

"Yeah, that was kinda obvious," Lan says, yawning, his jaw clicking in a way that makes Hub wince. "Why are you up so early?"

Hub huffs, returning to his plate. "I could ask the same of you," he says, shuffling past Lan to insert his plate in the microwave. He notices that the LED screen displays the time as 7:05. "Oh jeez, that is early," he says, pressing numbers on the keypad.

"Told ya," Lan retorts, eyes scrunching as he lets out another yawn and it takes everything Hub has not to openly coo at the sight. "And I asked first."

"I was born first," Hub quips, taking his plate out when the microwave beeps. He bellows in laughter, almost dropping his food, when Lan gapes at him.

"What the hell, dude?" Lan asks when he regains his composure, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's uncalled for."

"Th—The look on your face," Hub manages to wheeze out in between chortles, his back hunched over as he clutches at his stomach.

So consumed was Hub in his mirth that he misses Lan's expression morphing into one of mischief, the teen smirking as he snatches a clean fork from the sink, sidling over to Hub's plate on the table and swiping food from it, all without Hub noticing. When Hub recovers from his fit, it's too late: Lan had already scooped half of the plate's contents into his awaiting mouth.

Hub gawks at his twin, his gaiety tapering into agitation. "Lan, what the hell!"

Lan just smirks around the fork held between his teeth, his eyes crinkling and it instantly reminds Hub of the other Lan's laugh. For a second, the image of his brother is momentarily replaced with that of the other Lan giggling, his longer hair falling into his eyes, his flushed cheeks stretching to accommodate his widening grin and Hub can feel his heart beginning to throb.

Before Hub's thoughts could wander into dangerous territory, he says, "Now you're really gonna get it."

Lan rolls his eyes, taking the fork out of his mouth to spin it in between his fingers. "Or what? You'll spank me?"

And well, the Hub who existed from before the whole alternate universe debacle had started would have ignored such a comment, but the present Hub had just been making out with Lan's alternate version—who is decidedly _not_ Hub's twin brother and much older and so, _so_ beautiful (not to say that his twin isn't beautiful—he's pretty, if anything—but the lack of blood relation makes it easier for Hub to admit)—mere hours ago. The fluttery feelings that arise from recalling that splendid memory makes Hub blush from the immediate image that assaults his brain.

When the silence stretches, Lan frowns, stalking forward to smack the fork against Hub's forehead. He smiles in triumph when Hub flinches, rubbing his forehead as he gives Lan a baleful glare.

"That's what you get for ignoring me," Lan says, spinning the fork again. "What's going on with you?"

"Jeez, is a guy not allowed to zone out sometimes?" Hub jokes, hoping to dispel the strange atmosphere. It doesn't seem to work when Lan's frown deepens.

"Sure he is. But you still didn't answer the question." Lan stops spinning the fork, setting it down in the sink before turning around to lean his weight on the counter, a hard glint in his earthen eyes.

"I'm not going to spank you if that's what you're asking—"

"Wha—" Lan splutters, his blush deep, and it makes Hub's stomach churn. "Oh for goodness' sake—and people say I'm the idiot."

"I had the opportunity." Hub shrugs sheepishly when Lan glares at him, although the act is belied by the prominent pink staining his cheeks. "Now I see why you do this all time."

Lan shakes his head, sighing, and the sound of it is depthless, like it could span for ages. "So we're just going to ignore the elephant in the room?"

Hub can feel sweat bead at his temples when he asks, "And what would that be, exactly?"

"Okay, so I have to do it," Lan says, his face pinched into a sour expression. "I'm talking about how you've been treating me the past week."

The silence is oppressive as Hub sits down at the table, his head cradled by his hands. Before he can open his mouth, Lan cuts in with a: "And don't bother apologizing—I won't accept it unless I hear an explanation first."

This time Hub is the one to sigh, dread filling his body. Just the night before, Hub was having the time of his life, kissing the alternate version of his twin brother like their lives were to end the next day (which, in Hub's defense, could very well be true).

Now the bliss is drained away and Hub has to bite the bullet—now that he's aware of what he's feeling, and the fullest extent of his desires, he can't keep holding this confrontation off any longer.

However, what's holding him back is that he's not sure if Lan is ready for this conversation. By god, Hub wants to spill, to lay his soul bare for Lan to see, but he can't. His secret is too great, and he had already decided after he woke up that he won't act on these feelings until he figures out why he's been experiencing these dreams in the first place.

So, he keeps his mouth shut.

"I can't," Hub says, his eyebrows knit in consternation.

The glare Lan fixes him is utterly disdainful. "Oh for the love of—fine! Fine." Throwing his hands up in a gesture that epitomizes his ire, Lan marches around the table and heads towards the front door.

"'Fine'?" Hub echoes, chasing after his brother, who's sitting at the foyer and shoving his feet into his sneakers, the ones he usually latches his rollerblades onto. It seems today he's not going to put them on.

"If you don't want to talk, I can't force you." Lan's back is facing him, so Hub can't see his face, but he's acutely aware of the hitch in Lan's breath as he speaks, the tremor in Lan's shoulders as he moves—he's angry and he's hurt and he's trying to bottle it up. "But if you're mad at me, then please don't take it out on our friends. That's all I'm asking."

Hub knows he should say more, should make amends. All he can muster is a quiet: "Okay."

Lan is silent for a few more moments, before he says, "Tell Mom I'll come home late."

Hub nods, although Lan can't see it, his back still turned. When Lan gets up to open the door, Hub whispers, "I'm sorry."

The door slams in Lan's wake, leaving Hub alone at the foyer to stew in his own misery.

/

Hub is mindlessly flipping through channels when his mother comes down the stairs, yawning loudly into her dainty hand.

"Hub, good morning!" she chirps, passing by to ruffle his hair. "You're up early."

"Yeah," Hub says, setting the remote down and letting some children's show play. "I couldn't sleep."

"I see," she says, making her way over to the kitchen. She calls out: "You've had breakfast already?"

"Yeah, I did!" Hub yells back.

The house grows quiet after that exchange, save for the sounds of Haruka bustling about in the kitchen as she hums lowly to herself. When she's done eating her own breakfast, taking a mental note to chide both her sons for just reheating leftovers instead of waking her up to prepare an actual meal, she walks over to where Hub's sitting in the living room, plopping down on the couch next to him.

"It's so quiet," she murmurs to herself, making Hub laugh.

"Lan's out. He said to tell you he won't be back until late."

Haruka puts a hand to her cheek, frowning. "Ah, that boy. Always going out without telling me."

"Well, he's growing up now." Hub laughs, though it rings hollow in his own ears. Haruka doesn't seem to notice.

"Don't remind me," she bemoans, her cheeks in her hands. "My baby boys are growing up too quickly!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Mom," Hub says, smiling. "That's just how life is."

Haruka hums. "Speaking of life…" She looks over to Hub, her expression contorting into something more serious. "Have you and Lan been fighting lately?"

Hub flinches, the motion so minute that it would have gone unnoticed had Haruka not been sitting so closely. "What do you mean?"

"You two seem so distant," she says, gazing sadly at her son. "You guys aren't getting sick of each other, right?"

"No!" Hub yells, blushing a moment later at his loudness. "No," he says again, quieter. "I'm not sick of Lan. I would never feel that way about him."

Haruka smiles at the certainty in his tone. "Okay, that makes me feel better. But I'm not wrong about the fighting?"

Hub sighs, his hand coming up to swipe at his neck. "It's not really fighting…It's more like I've had some…revelations…lately, and I think it's affecting how I'm interacting with Lan."

"Let me guess," Haruka says, before Hub could continue. She feigns a thinking pose, a hand to her chin, and the sight would have made Hub laugh if he weren't feeling so nervous. "Now that you're older, you feel that you're too close with your brother. You came to the conclusion since you two aren't children anymore, it's better to put some distance between yourselves. The problem is that you haven't told Lan, so now he thinks you hate him."

She looks at him, a knowing twinkle in her eyes. "Right?"

She's only partially right, but it's not like Hub can just outright admit that she's missing the part where Hub's conflicted feelings stem from the discovery that he might hold more than platonic feelings for his brother.

"Yeah," he says instead, somewhat grateful that at least his mother saved him the trouble of coming up with a feasible lie.

"But you know," Haruka says, oblivious to Hub's inner turmoil, "that doesn't mean Lan won't understand."

Hub looks at her quizzically. "How do you know for sure?"

"You're brothers," she says, then frowns before shaking her head, smiling. "Twins. If the problem involves him, he's entitled to know, right? Even if he doesn't fully get it, you'll come to a compromise."

The conviction her words carry is dangerous—Hub fears that if he gets swept up in the hope that's blossoming in his chest, it will already be too late. "I understand, Mom, really, I do."

Her face falls, but her smile is supportive. "But?" she prompts.

"I still don't think I can say anything," Hub says, his eyes downcast. "I know he has the right to know, but at the end of the day, he's better off not knowing. It's unfair that he can't choose, but once I take that step, I can't go back. And if it's selfish for me to say that, then so be it—this is the best choice, and I'll stick to it."

Haruka smiles at him, her eyes sorrowful yet compassionate. "Okay, dear. I won't involve myself unnecessarily, so I'll trust your judgement."

Before she could say more, she startles at the slam of the front door. Both her and Hub turn their attention to the source of the disturbance, only to see Lan dart from the foyer to the staircase, his footfalls thundering up the steps.

"Crap," Hub says right when another door slam, presumably the one to Lan's bedroom, resounds throughout the residence. "I thought he said he'll come late."

Haruka pats at her woeful son's shoulder, hoping the gesture instills some confidence in him. "I hope it goes well, dear."

Hub groans, slumping down into his mother, making her giggle. "Do I have to?"

"You don't have to," she says, smiling, "but I think you should."

With that, she pushes him off the couch, sending him off with a supportive wave. As Hub trudges up the steps, he wishes he could be living in the dreamworld his mother seems to be perpetually stuck in.

He knocks on Lan's door when he finally, reluctantly walks up to it. There's a quiet shuffling behind the door before he hears a muffled: "What?"

"Can I come in?" Hub asks, keeping his voice level as anxiety bubbles up in his chest.

A beat of silence passes before Lan says, "Sure."

Exhaling lowly, Hub twists the knob and opens the door. He steps in, the door closing behind him with a resounding click.

Lan's room looks just like how he's seen it the last time he's been here, which is a strange observation since Hub isn't sure why he's operating under the assumption that Lan would make remarkable changes to his room for no apparent reason.

His gaze slides over the rumpled sheets on the perpetually unmade bed, to the cluttered desk housing Lan's trusty computer and headset, to the teen sitting on his windowsill as he blankly looks out to the shrubbery decorating their front yard.

Here, standing in what could be considered Lan's sanctuary, Hub feels infinitesimal. Awkwardly striding over to Lan's bed, Hub hesitantly takes a seat. Swallowing down the lump forming in his throat, he says, "So, uh, where'd you go?"

"Somewhere," Lan answers instantly, much to Hub's surprise, which serves to indicate just how angry he's feeling. If glares could kill, Hub suspects the poor bushes outside their home would have been wilting already.

"I see," Hub says with an awkward chuckle. He has truly never felt the urge to die until this particular instant. "I thought you said you would come home late?"

Hub's hands go clammy as Lan sits in silence, ignoring the question. Seeing as how Lan is doing his best impression of a stone statue, Hub surmises that being blunt is probably the only way they're going to get somewhere, lest they spend the remainder of the afternoon going in circles.

With a sigh, Hub asks, "How much of that did you hear?"

Lan finally looks at him, his gaze frosty, and it almost makes Hub shudder. He stares for so long that Hub thinks he might be drilling holes into him before finally saying, "From when Mom was giving her guess."

"I—I see…" Hub internally curses—that's a lot that Lan had heard, then. "And the door?"

"I was already home for a few minutes because I forgot to take my phone. I was going to close it before I heard you guys talking. I know that damn thing is heavy, so I closed it when I didn't want to hear anymore."

Hub gulps, steeling himself for what he's about to say next. "And what is it that you didn't want to hear?"

Lan's eyes flash, and Hub, for a startling second, fears for his life. "Do you think I'm a joke?"

"No!" Hub shouts, waving his hands in surrender. "Never, Lan, I'm sorry, I should have worded that better…"

"Whatever." Lan sighs, bone deep, scrubbing his hand against his face. "You came up here 'cuz Mom told you to, right?"

Before Hub can offer a response, Lan barrels on. "But it's fine. You made it pretty obvious the other day that you don't want to tell me. Like I said, I can't force you."

Hub opens his mouth and, once again, Lan interjects. "Don't bother apologizing. If anything, I'm the one who should say sorry."

"What?" Hub asks, tilting his head in puzzlement.

Lan blushes, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "I admit I might have slightly overreacted…I mean, yeah, I'm still irked that you don't want to tell me what's going on with you, especially since it seems to affect how you're interacting with me…"

He pouts, setting his feet on the floor so that he fully face Hub. "Like, I thought we were fine that day you had your outburst, just chalked it off as typical teenage angst. But then you ghost me out of nowhere! And then you treat our friends like trash and then you withdraw! So, of course, when I found out that the problem might be linked to me, I freaked out!"

His face is aflame as he rants, his brown eyes shining brightly with indignation, yet some deranged part of Hub finds the impassioned sight beautiful. "But what worried me most is that you don't want to tell me…I don't even know if it's my fault, yet I'm still involved somehow? I was so confused, and it made me angry."

He sighs again, covering his mouth as an ashamed blush paints his cheeks. "Ugh, now I just had my own outburst."

An unbidden laugh erupts from Hub's throat. "Looks like I'm not the only one with teenage angst."

"Don't act like it's not your fault." Lan huffs, his cheeks puffing a bit and Hub has to visibly bite down his coo at the sight. "Just let me apologize, will you?"

Hub's eyes soften, his heart clenching, and he gestures for Lan to speak.

"I'm sorry," Lan starts, gaze finding Hub's before it flicks away to stare at the wall. "I didn't consider what you were feeling. I'm still mad, but I understand. Just because we're close doesn't mean we aren't allowed a few secrets to ourselves. I still think I have the right to know if it involves me, but if you truly believe it's better that I don't know, then I'll trust you."

He ends his speech with a gruff: "I currently hate you, though. You owe me chores for a week."

Hub laughs, his cheeks hurting from how wide his grin splits his face. "Deal."

Lan tentatively smiles back, before it grows into a full blown grin mirroring Hub's own. They giggle together, the mood warming between them, and Hub's heart is pleasantly aching at the visage of Lan's pink cheeks glowing as he hides his mirth behind his hand.

_This is good_, Hub thinks. _It's definitely better this way._

/

The following days found Hub feeling unexpectedly peaceful. For some indecipherable reason, Hub hasn't been dreaming for almost two weeks now. The observation, admittedly, leaves Hub with a torrent of anxiety, but Hub can't find himself questioning it, especially since school is nearing the end of its term and exams are looming ever closer. Unlike his brother, Hub isn't too inclined in cramming several months' worth of material the night before and then winging his exams the day of.

Though Hub found the dreams interesting, those two restful weeks free from them were joyous. After making amends with Lan, life gradually reverted back to how it was before this mess all began. Their circle of friends forgave Hub, without throwing in some good-natured teasing first, and time spent with Lan wasn't nearly as excruciating as it was before. Sure, the dreams brought with them interesting experiences, but Hub wouldn't trade it for the life he has now.

No robotic body to acclimate to, no impending destruction to fear of, no frenetic commands being shouted at him, and, best of all, no alternate version of Lan to interact with and throw his feelings into disarray—Hub can truly say that there are more advantages to being oblivious than he'd initially thought.

However, Hub can't ignore the mounting suspicion gnawing at him as his days pass by without a single disturbance. Sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about the possibilities of that world, of whether his latest dream is truly the end of the story, but then he snaps out of it, internally chastising himself for getting caught up in pointless speculation instead of focusing on what's in front of him.

It stands to reason that fate is simply not as kind as Hub had hoped it to be.

/

It's when another two weeks pass that Hub dreams again.

Usually when he wakes up, it's either to the blinding lights of the medical bay, to the metallic four walls of a quiet lab, or, if he's lucky, to Lan's face hovering above him.

This time, when he opens his eyes, he wishes he hadn't. The image of a desolate wasteland greets him, decaying bodies—both human and reploid—strewn across the desert ground, horrifically mangled and contorting at disturbing angles, bloodying the brown landscape with large swathes of red and tarnished silver.

Hub looks away immediately, biting back bile as he tries to gauge his surroundings. Currently, he's sitting in shadow, and another cursory glance reveals that he's hidden under the remains of a decimated building. Whether the building is the base itself or an unrelated one that just happened to have met a tragic end, Hub isn't sure.

What he did know is that his arm, the very arm he recalls Lan fixing so long ago, is once again broken, sliced at the elbow. It's a rather clean injury, Hub thinks morbidly, and similar lacerations litter the breadth of his torso, the most notable one having a length that spans the entirety of his right thigh.

Hub can't even begin to describe the pain wracking his body whenever he takes a single breath, but he doesn't dwell on it, opting to move himself so that he can further study the situation. However, when he gets up on a single knee, exhaustion sweeps over him and he crumples backwards into the rubble. Glancing down, he notices that a good portion of his boot has been crushed, and movement makes the wound on his thigh throb, each excruciating pulse forcing him to clench his teeth.

Wind picks up, swirling dust into little clouds that glide across the ground before dissipating into the desert air, and it creeps out Hub that it's the only sound he can hear in the otherwise deathly quiet.

Seeing as how he has no other options, Hub lays back on the rubble, his eyelids slowly beginning to droop. He doesn't know how long he's been drifting off when something shakes his shoulder, the motion urgent.

"Mega! Wake up, Mega!" someone frantically calls out.

Hearing the familiar voice, the darkness surrounding Hub's consciousness clears and his eyes slowly open. "Lan?"

The hazy image before him clears out, displaying the relieved smile of a disheveled scientist. "Ah, you're awake!" When Hub's vision finally focuses, he sees that tears prick at the corners of Lan's eyes, which are swimming with equal amounts of worry and relief. "I thought something had happened to you."

However, his eyes widen a second later, zoned in on Hub's hacked limb. "Mega, your arm!"

"Ah, that," Hub says, using his only hand to wave off Lan's concern. "I honestly don't even feel it." Which isn't too far from the truth, he supposes.

"Idiot," Lan says, settling himself beside Hub and wincing as he sits. Upon further inspection, Hub sees that Lan's normally pristine coat is dirtied, his clothes in an equally haggard state. Dirt cakes the scientist's shoes in a thin layer, indicating a long trek. Hub feels worry bubble up in him when he notices the thin cuts scattered across Lan's tan hands and neck, some patches of skin covered in dried blood. Did he get involved in an altercation?

Before he could voice his concerns, Lan props his head on Hub's shoulder, a heavy sigh spilling from his lips. He curls into Hub's side, knees knocking against Hub's uninjured thigh as he says, "We're doomed, aren't we?"

Hub stays silent, fearing the wrong response could upset Lan. Thankfully, Lan speaks up, his fingers splaying across the belt fastened around Hub's waist. Hub doesn't recall that being there before.

"The cyber-elf," Lan whispers, as if the slightest increase in volume would disturb the eerie quiet enveloping them.

"…I see now. I was wondering why you were the only one—" His voice cracks, and Hub hears him sniffle. "I was right. If I hadn't stolen that for you, you would have been—"

Hub, despite the pain tormenting him, smiles indulgently, pulling the unsuspecting man into his lap with the strength left in his sole able arm. Lan squeaks at the sudden movement, softening into the touch when a gloved hand cards through his hair, smoothing down any flyway strands. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

Lan laughs, but his sniffling makes it stilted and watery. "Why are you apologizing, idiot? This damn war isn't your fault." He scoots down on Hub's lap, resting his head on Hub's plated chest, his dainty fingers tracing patterns into the skintight material clinging to Hub's stomach. "Sometimes, I—"

He grows quiet, making Hub curious. "Sometimes you…?" Hub prompts, his hand drifting down to curve along Lan's hip.

"…It's mean," Lan whispers.

Hub scoffs. "I think I can handle it."

Lan is silent for a few more moments before he relents. "…If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't be going through so much pain right now."

Hub stiffens, and he knows Lan felt it, if his sudden stillness was any indication. Before Lan opens his mouth to worsen the grief already flooding the pair, Hub says, "But you don't regret it."

"…I don't," Lan says, snuggling further into Hub's chest. His shoulders are shaking. "It hurts, but I'll never regret meeting you. You're the only thing getting me through this wretched war."

Despite the gruesome scenery around him, Hub can't help the tug at his heart when he hears that. Tightening his hold on Lan's hip, he says, "I'm sorry it had to be this way."

"It's not your fault," Lan says, tucking his head under Hub's chin. "You know, I—Ah, never mind."

"Don't say that." Hub knocks his fist against Lan's side, making the man squirm. When Lan stays quiet, he grins. "You know I love you, right?"

Lan's head shoots up, his cheeks coloring instantly and making Hub warm all over. He thumps his fist against Hub's chest, though the armor softens the already weak blow. "That's an unfair move and you know it!"

Hub laughs, the sound ringing clear throughout the stale air. He pulls Lan back into his chest, nuzzling against Lan's hair. The one who should claim this is unfair is him, Hub thinks. After all, the only time he can confess his true feelings is in this cruel world ridden with war and violence.

"I love you," Hub says again, relishing in the way Lan's cheeks darken to red. Set against the backdrop of the sun sinking into the horizon, day bleeding to dusk, Lan looks so ethereal.

"I love you, too," Lan says back, equally as fond, his smile large and genuine. Tears threaten to spill from the corners of his eyes, but Lan valiantly holds them back. Throwing himself against Hub, he nestles his face into the juncture of Hub's neck.

"I wish—" He croaks, his fingers pulled into fists. "I wish we can be reborn again. I swear, if I had another lifetime, I would spend it all loving you."

Hub freezes, his body going hot and cold all at once. Time stills, and Hub swears he could hear his heart hammering in his ears. "W-What?"

Lan doesn't break from his position when he says, "I know it's childish, but I've been thinking about it so much. If there's some god up there, I would plead to them everyday. We don't have time now, but in another life…" Lan trails off, his silence palpable, hanging thick in the air.

Hub had never thought epiphanies would ever be this painful. From the very beginning, he's always wondered what the purpose of these dreams were—if it's to make him wish that he and Lan weren't related so that he can act on his feelings without consequence, then it has certainly done its job.

Somehow, some way, his previous life came back to him in bursts, informing him of his past journey, all to lead up to this precious moment. And now that he knows Lan had wished, from the bottom of his heart, for them to meet again, Hub can feel all his uncertainty drain away.

He has to suppress his retort that, indeed, they have another lifetime together, but they are so far apart it might as well be a tragic reenactment of this one. Inwardly cursing at how cruel fate can be, Hub says, "I wish for that as well."

Despite being older and more worn out than the Lan he knows, Hub loves him all the same. He so badly wants to at least thank this man for showing him the type of love he didn't think he was capable of feeling, and if that means appreciating the life he has now, even if the man who wished for it isn't aware of the second chance he's been given, Hub will do it. He'll do it a thousand times over.

Lan's eyes are glittery, swimming with emotion, when he looks up at Hub with an expression so hopeful it breaks Hub's heart. "You don't think it's stupid?"

"Of course not," Hub says, nudging his nose against Lan's, making the man giggle so sweetly. "Didn't I tell you? I care about what you think."

Lan smiles, but it drops when he startles from the low noises rumbling off in the distance. The pair turn to the direction from where the rumbling originates, making out hundreds upon hundreds of silhouettes marching from the sunset. A large, shadowy form, whose height dwarfs the rest of the mob by several magnitudes, towers over the rest, its violet markings the only source of light in the inky darkness of the throng.

Lan's voice trembles as he says, "Why? Why are they coming back? Aren't they done? They've already killed so many, what more do they fucking—"

Before Lan could collapse into grief-fueled insanity, which Hub fears might happen any second now, he cuts in with a: "Lan, look at me."

And despite the harrowing footsteps resounding in the distance, inching ever closer, Lan bravely turns away to look at Hub, face marred with despair.

"I love you," Hub says, and if he had the function to do so, he'd be crying too. "In this life and the next, I'll love you."

Lan doesn't respond, but Hub can taste his answer when he smashes their lips together, desperation oozing into the contact. Small hands cradle his jaw, and Hub tilts his head to deepen the kiss, his sole hand clutching at Lan's hip.

The need for air becomes prominent, making the two pull away from each other, but a second doesn't pass before they're kissing again, again and again, misery and love tainting each press of their lips.

They pull away after an indeterminate amount of time, staring into each other's eyes. In his peripheral vision, Hub can make out a beam of light hurtling towards them, yet all Hub can focus on is Lan's smiling face. There are tears streaming down his cheeks and his eyes squint from the width of his grin, but it doesn't detract from Lan's beauty. Hub's sure his face is in a similar state as he smiles back, surging forward to peck at Lan's sweet lips.

"I'll see you again," he hears Lan say before the world fades to white.

/

When Hub wakes, it's to dark shadows playing across his bedroom ceiling.

There's a rapid thrumming in his ears, and Hub realizes it's his heartbeat. Bringing a hand to his chest, Hub wills it to calm down. Sitting up, he glances across his bedroom to the clock on his dresser, the time reading as five in the morning. It's not a school night, so Hub knows he can afford to go back to bed, but he knows after a dream like that, sleep would be the last thing on his mind.

He ends up spending the next four hours glued to his notebook. He had tried to sleep several times, but the scampering of his heart proved to be too distracting. When he paced around his room in an attempt to wear himself out, he had found a half-filled notebook, just a little bigger than the size of his hand, in the pile of books on his desk.

Grabbing a pen from his cup of writing utensils, he sat down on his bed and flipped to the latter half of the notebook, free of his scribbles and sketches. He jots down everything he remembers from his time in that world, which, he belatedly thinks, is probably the not right word for it anymore. His notes are meticulous as he writes down everything in, what he hopes to be, chronological order, starting from his first meeting with Lan to his last.

The details regarding that time itself are not as prominent as Hub had initially thought them to be. The entire time he was there, he assumed he had to learn everything there was to know of that place, so as to uncover the underlying reason why he was brought there to begin with.

It pains Hub greatly to realize that his interactions with Lan were always the focus of those nightly excursions. If he happened to dream of a point in time where Lan wasn't there, then Hub wouldn't stay as long. He'd have only a few minutes to soak in his surroundings before he would wake up, dazedly staring up at his ceiling as he wondered why nothing significant occurred.

Hub has to bite down his sardonic laugh. Instead of his dreams revealing some cosmic destiny, they showed him a tragic love story. To make matters worse, the one who wished to reincarnate isn't even aware of that past life himself, leaving Hub to be saddled with these conflicted feelings all by his lonesome.

Fate truly hasn't been kind to him, Hub thinks miserably.

/

Lan has always loved his twin brother—he just doesn't show it well.

In his defense, Hub makes it too easy. The older twin—by a mere few seconds, but older nonetheless—the mature one, the reliable one. He's so stoic that Lan thinks he's doing Hub a favor by getting into his face all the time, forcing him to drop the act and let loose like an actual teenager for once.

Which is why when Hub abruptly puts distance between them, Lan worries. Had he gone too far? Is Hub thinking that they're too old for these antics?

Every time Lan tries to bring it up, Hub swerves the topic, a flimsy excuse at hand. _I can't, I'm sorry_. Sorry for what? If there's anything Lan hates with a passion, it's baseless apologies. He never gets an explanation, and each time he tries to talk with Hub, he ends up with more questions than answers.

When they finally talk, Lan is beyond elated. Despite his kindness and easygoing nature, Lan knows that Hub is more withdrawn than people expect. He doesn't give away more than he has to, so Lan feels that his joy is the proper response. Though Lan doesn't get a straight answer, Hub promises his cooperation and, really, that's all Lan could ask for.

But sometimes, he can't help but wonder about his brother's enigmatic answers. He ponders over it for hours, picking apart Hub's vague words for a semblance of clarity, but it eludes him. Lan figures he'll never know. Though it pains him greatly to admit, he supposes it's Hub's decision in the end.

So his bewilderment isn't misplaced when Hub, on a random day, asks him if he wants to talk.

The day had started out normal enough. Since it's a day off from school, he slept in. After getting his dose of lazing around, he washed up and ate breakfast, helped out his mom with a few chores, and then got to gaming.

Well, he lied just a bit: The strangest thing was that, for the entire morning Lan spent on his routine, not once did the door to Hub's room open.

His brother doesn't have the audacity to sneak out the window, so Lan knows he's still holed up in there. The problem is Lan doesn't know what exactly he's doing in there. Granted, Lan doesn't really care what his brother does in his free time, but recent events had him curious. His brother is an early riser, so he can't help but wonder what his brother is preoccupied with.

His answer comes when he hears a knock on his door. Without taking off his head set, Lan calls for the person to come in, his attention still on his computer monitor.

Hub opens the door a second later, peering inside. He slinks inside, his movements awkward, reminding Lan of a skittish animal.

Hiding his smile, Lan removes his headset as he asks, "What is it?"

Hub lightly bounces on his feet, wringing his hands, his nervousness palpable. When Lan thinks he hasn't heard his question, Hub says, "I'm going to the park. Do you want to come with me?"

Lan raises a brow—from how suspicious Hub is acting, the innocuous inquiry throws him off guard. He shrugs. "Sure, why not."

Hub gives him a smile, wobbly but genuine, and he tells Lan he'll wait for him at the front door in a few minutes. He rushes out Lan's door without further fanfare, leaving Lan to bask in his befuddlement.

Shaking his head, Lan gets up to put on a respectable outfit. As told, Hub is waiting at the foyer, his back leaning on the wall and his foot tapping an erratic rhythm on the floor. Lan announces his arrival by jumping off the last step of the staircase and bouncing into Hub's space, starling the teen.

Expecting a reprimand, Lan owlishly blinks when Hub fondly smiles at him instead. He calls out to their mother over Lan's shoulder, holding the door open for Lan. When they leave, they miss Haruka's knowing smile.

The walk to the park is quick and quiet, neither of the two speaking in favor of marveling at the scenery, at the low clicking of shoes against pavement as people bustle about, at the morning breeze as it sweeps by, bringing with it the sounds of the city.

When they arrive at the park's entrance, Lan hangs back a bit, letting Hub lead them to an isolated bench, far from the path people usually take to stroll around the park. The area is devoid of sound, save for the rustling of trees and the chirping of birds, bringing Lan a sense of tranquility.

Lan plops down on the bench, his head hanging over the edge. Hub laughs, mimicking Lan but a touch more gracefully. Lan notices that when Hub sits, he barely leaves space between them, the sides of their thighs touching.

After a stretch of silence, Hub says, "Let's talk."

Lan almost does a double take. "W-What?"

"You heard me," Hub says, his lips quirking into a smirk. "You wanted this, right? So, let's talk."

"Really?" Lan asks, a bit skeptical. "You're going to answer anything I ask?"

"Well…" Hub looks to the sky, humming thoughtfully. "Actually, I think it's better if I start myself. You can ask me any questions you have after I'm done, all right?"

Lan nods, and Hub launches into a spiel. It's a rather bizarre story he tells, Lan thinks, but he finds himself getting invested. He doesn't know how long he spends sitting there and listening to Hub talk, drawn into Hub's passion as the teen regales about reploids and mavericks, of humans stuck in the middle, of war and despair.

As Hub speaks, Lan thinks he looks rather convinced of his story, like it actually happened. He doesn't voice this, lest he invoke Hub's annoyance. The last thing Lan wants to do is betray Hub's trust and jest at Hub's expense.

At one point, Hub produces a small notebook from his thin jacket. He gives it to Lan, and the teen peruses its contents without further preamble. For a reason he can't fathom, Lan's heart begins to race as he reads Hub's elaborate yet coherent notes.

Though Lan's interest sways more to the technology Hub mentions in his notes, one detail doesn't go remiss: In almost every page, his name is mentioned at least once.

Lan's brows furrow, confusion settling in. He doesn't understand—since when was he a scientist? The Lan being spoken of sounds much older, more bitter and exhausted. Lan knows he's a bit of an airhead, but he's certain he's never experienced a world as war-torn as this one. Too absorbed in his musings, he doesn't notice Hub watching him with a critical eye, scrutinizing his every action.

Hub doesn't speak, letting Lan digest and process the information presented to him. He watches a multitude of emotions flit across Lan's face as the teen gets enraptured by Hub's writing. When he closes the book, his face is blank.

"What is this?" Lan finally asks after a bout of silence.

Taking the book from Lan's lax hands, Hub traces a reverent finger over the cover. "It doesn't seem real, right?"

Lan looks at him like he's grown another head. "Hub, this isn't funny. Don't tell me this is the reason for your behavior?"

"Now you see why I was hesitant on talking about this?" Hub says, his smile bitter.

Lan splutters. "This can't be real, right? Do you even know what you're suggesting?"

"Lan," Hub says, his voice sounding enormous in the stillness. "Do you honestly think I would come up with such a convoluted tale just to mess with you? Even I don't have the patience, you know that."

Lan _does_ know that, which is why he's scared. Hub would never invest so much time into a joke, and that terrifies Lan—it would mean he has to deal with the fact that all this could be _true_.

"But, _reincarnation_?" Lan asks, incredulous. "How?"

"I can't prove it," Hub says, solemn. "Yet I believe. If you were there, if you saw and felt as I did, I think you would as well."

Lan shakes his head, tilting forward as he puts his elbows over his knees. He doesn't even want to entertain this idea, but it would explain so much. He certainly knows that if he were in Hub's position, living in that world and experiencing its pain, he wouldn't be able to handle it all—and that goes double for if he were presented with an alternate version of Hub. If he found out that Hub was in love with him, what would he do? He can't even begin to imagine the divide Hub found himself in after that kind of revelation.

"Say I believe you," Lan starts, cupping his cheeks with his hands. "Where does that leave us?"

"You tell me," Hub says, and Lan envies how collected he sounds, as if he didn't drop the biggest bomb on Lan. "I did my part: I told you everything you could possibly want to know. What you want to do now is all up to you."

Lan's heart lifts at Hub's consideration. A pleased flush spreads across his face, but something niggles at him, begging to be addressed. Turning to face Hub, he says, "Were…they really in love?"

Hub chuckles, the sound warm and heartfelt. The wind picks up, ruffling his brown fringe, and it makes Lan yearn. "You're avoiding the topic. They're not strangers; they're _us_."

Before Lan can say anything, Hub barrels on. "He looked exactly like you, just older. And before you ask, I looked at my reflection, too. There were some differences, but I looked the same, too. Trust me, I tried thinking of anything else, but you can never mistake your own face."

At Hub's clarification, Lan slumps into the bench. He folds his hands onto his lap, his head tilted skyward. His eyes trace the path of the clouds lazily drifting by. "He loved you. He loved you so much he wanted to see you again."

Hub hums in assent. Lan continues to stare at the sky, his emotions thrown into disarray. He thinks he can understand that Lan's resolve, respect it even. At death's door, that Lan had no choice but to hope, to plead to the heavens, to anyone listening, for a second chance. Lan can understand it all, but he still can't reconcile with the fact that it's _him_.

"Did you love him?" Lan finds himself asking. He blushes at his blunder, not at all wanting to ask that yet strangely eager for Hub's answer.

"…Yes," Hub says, and when Lan looks at him, his gaze is distant, like he's looking at a time far removed from their own. "In the beginning, we barely knew each other. But each time I came back, Lan was always there, be it physically or in my head. We got closer, but I thought it was just our friendship becoming deeper. Then Lan kissed me and I…" A dull pink paints his cheeks, and Lan is struck by how much the sight of Hub blushing endears him.

"I didn't know what to think at first: Was it a mistake, or was Lan just being friendly?" His tone catches a fond edge, making Lan feel embarrassed. "I was being willfully obtuse. That's probably why Lan called me an idiot."

"You deserved it," Lan says, making Hub laugh. "Who in their right mind would think a kiss on the mouth is platonic?"

"Almost on the mouth," Hub amends, trying to save face, but it sounds pitiful even to his own ears.

Lan rolls his eyes, muttering, "Same difference." Looking at his hands, he says, "Is that why you had your outbursts?"

Hub nods, his jaw clenching. "I was so confused, I didn't know what to do. To make matters worse, it's not like I could have asked for help. Like, what am I supposed to say? 'Hey, this person might have feelings for me, and I think I might reciprocate them? Also this person is technically my twin brother.'"

Hub sighs, shaking his head. "You can see why I was hesitant, right? Even if I did tell anyone of this, I doubt they'd believe me."

Lan's eyes soften, and he slowly takes Hub's hand in his own, which jerks in surprise from the sudden action. "I'm sorry, Hub. I thought I was looking out for you, but it turned out I was just adding more pressure on you, huh?"

Hub quickly looks up from where their hands are connected, face flushed. "Ah, i-it's fine! I knew you meant well and, really, it's no one's fault. These are just odd circumstances no one would have ever predicted."

Lan smiles at him, placating, but doubt lingers in his eyes. "Still…"

"C'mon, don't worry about it," Hub says, lightly swinging their clasped hands. "I mean, the fact that I ended up talking about it with you means something, right?"

Lan pouts, and Hub doesn't suppress his coo. "Fine, I'll accept it."

They grow quiet, but it's comfortable, welcoming. In the stillness, Hub realizes that day has gone by and dusk has replaced it, hues of orange and pink breaking through the trees and beaming across the park. Lan follows his gaze, appreciating the scenery before them.

When Lan turns away from him, Hub's eyes stray from the setting sun to Lan's side profile, mesmerized by the golden glow of Lan's face. His gaze drops from Lan's smiling mouth to their linked hands, and a pleasant warmth smothers him.

He doesn't want to break the spell, to disrupt the atmosphere, but there's a burning urge inside him, threatening to consume him whole. "So, where does this leave us?"

Lan turns to him, confused, and Hub hates that he gets distracted by how the rays of the setting sun cast along Lan's face, making brown eyes sparkle. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean…" Hub clears his throat. "My last dream left an impression on me…It's fine if you don't want to try, but I doubt I could treat you the same after…that."

Lan blushes, the pink of it intensified by the dusk hanging above them. "What, you're saying you're liking me now?"

At Hub's ashamed silence, Lan yells, "Hub!"

"What, too soon?" Hub grins sheepishly, chuckling at Lan's indignant cry.

"It's not that I don't believe you, but I…" Lan frowns, looking away and muttering under his breath.

Hub blinks. "Eh, what was that?"

"I _said_—" Lan stresses through grit teeth, his ears pink. "—I don't want to be _his_ replacement."

He looks at Hub, only to see the teen break down into chortles again. "Hub!"

"Sorry!" Hub yelps when Lan smacks his arm, and he's slightly delirious when he sees that their fingers are still laced together. "I'm sorry, but where did you get that idea from?"

Lan's mouth becomes a flat line, but all Hub sees is a disgruntled kitten. "Can you blame me? Like, you clearly loved, _love_, him, but if we try this, how can I be sure that you're not mistaking your feelings for him with your feelings for me? I know you said we're the same person, but we're still different _enough_, and that matters to me."

Hub's heart flutters at Lan's words, at the prospect that Lan is considering some kind of arrangement. Squeezing Lan's hand, he says, "I understand, but please know I would never be so intentionally inconsiderate of your feelings. We don't have to do anything you don't want to try—the purpose of all this was just to tell you, so that there's no secrets between us. Like I said before, what you want to happen after is up to you."

After a beat of silence, he looks into Lan's eyes, which are swirling with emotion. With all the sincerity he can muster, Hub says, "The thing is…I could definitely see myself falling in love with you, too."

And that seems to be Lan's final straw: The teen leaps from the bench into Hub's lap, his arms tightly wound across Hub's neck. Hub, after his initial bout of shock, smiles, reciprocating the embrace.

They hug for what seems like an eternity, the sound of their hearts hammering accompanied by the rustling of the trees. After some time, Lan pulls away, settling himself fully onto Hub's lap. Hands on Hub's shoulder, he says, "You know this is going to be hard, right? What would everyone else think—"

Hub shushes him, one hand curving along Lan's spine as the other cups Lan's cheek. "Let's not worry about that now, okay? All I want to know is whether you want to try."

The gold flecks in Lan's warm brown eyes glitter like stars. "I'll try."

Hub beams, Lan returning the gesture with a shy smile of his own, and he's content.

/

Hub isn't really sure what happened: At first, he's in his bed, waiting for sleep to come, and the next thing he knows, he wakes up in a place that's definitely _not_ his room.

It's a dingy place, completely devoid of life. Darkness penetrates the area, making it hard for Hub to see. As he blinks to adjustment, he tries to get up from his slouch, only to fall back. He stares blankly at his limbs, and he almost shrieks from discovering that his arms and legs are clothed in a skintight suit, with protective armor encasing his forearms and lower legs.

Looking about, he finds a thin beam of sunlight filtering through a crack in what Hub assumes to be the ceiling. Shuffling over, Hub looks at his body under the light, and he winces at what he finds. His armor is a light blue, his suit a darker shade of it. The strangest thing is that Hub feels…metallic. He can't feel much of any sensation—can't feel blood rushing through his veins, can't feel hair standing up at his arms.

He perks up when he hears a light splash, and he looks down to see that he had stepped in a small puddle. Kneeling down, he looks at his reflection in the dim light. He gasps, his gloved hands tracing his cheek as he takes in his grass green eyes. He's wearing a helmet, dark blue, with prominent ear pieces and teal horns, surprising Hub since he hadn't even felt its weight. Tilting his head to the side, he notices that the hair sticking out from under the helmet is a dark blue, almost black, a stark difference to Hub's usually brown hair.

Hub stares as his reflection mirrors his hand's movements, proving Hub's suspicion correctly. This is definitely him, but is this really his body? Before he could dwell on the matter any further, he hears the slide of metal from a few feet away. He doesn't get the chance to hide when light bursts into the room, which is getting brighter with each inch the door opens.

Hub slowly gets up from his crouch as voices filter into the empty air, ready to sprint when the door fully opens, but he's stopped in his tracks when a rather youthful voice asks, "Is anyone here? Don't be afraid, we're here to help."

Something in Hub stirs—the voice sounded awfully familiar…

Before Hub can further ruminate on that, he stays still, hoping that the strangers closing in aren't dangerous. He looks around to assess the situation, gasping as he does so.

In the dark, he hadn't seen it, but the soft sunlight makes the scenery startling clear: Disfigured bodies litter the ground, some whole and some partially dismembered, Hub notes with a grimace. Dark stains smear the floor like paint, and Hub wonders if a massacre of some sort had occurred.

Looking down at himself, he sees that he's not any better: His armor is cracked in numerous places, tears in his suit, and grime cakes almost every part of his body. If he wasn't moving right now, Hub could have been just another dead body lying around, never to see the light of day again.

He glances up when the crunching of boots signal numerous people nearing closer. When Hub's gaze rises to look at the face of the person closest to him, he can't help the unbidden gasp that spills from him.

The person, the splitting image of Lan, looks at him with worry, cautiously stepping closer to Hub. "Are you all right?"

This man is tall, not as tall as Hub, but taller than the Lan Hub knows. The angles of his face indicate his older age, probably in his twenties, and his hair is a fetching shade of brown, maybe darker. The man's forehead is bare of Lan's characteristic bandanna, letting his fringe fall over his big eyes.

It takes a moment for Hub to gather his bearings. "Uh, yeah, I am." He nervously glances at the people standing behind Lan's doppelganger, at how each of their hands hover over the trigger of their guns.

The person—Hub can't call him Lan, that wouldn't be right—smiles, and it's achingly familiar. "That's good to know. Are there any other survivors?"

Hub looks around, his heart clenching at the silence of death suffocating them. "I don't think so…I just woke up, so I'm not sure."

The man nods understandingly, his face somber. "That's fine, I'm just glad you're all right. Do you have a name?"

Something compels Hub to keep that tidbit to himself. He shakes his head no, and the man hums in contemplation.

"May I see something?" he asks, and Hub nods. He reaches over and grasps at Hub's forearm, turning it over in the scarce lighting, his finger tracing along cracks and thin lines of plating until it stops, pointing at a faded label.

"MEGA032101," the man says. Letting go of Hub's arm, he gives Hub a warm smile. "That's a mouthful, so how does Mega sound?"

Hub nods, holding his arm to his chest. For some reason, the sight of the man smiling has him giddy, and the jitters in his body intensify when the man laughs.

"Great!" he exclaims cutely, before his expression morphs into that of embarrassment. "Oh, I forgot! I'm Lan Hikari, it's nice to meet you!"

Hub feels numb, as if all sensation had been sucked out of him. This couldn't be a coincidence, could it? There's no way this is Lan! Hub has to snap out of this delusion, before he gets too invested in whatever lucid dream he's trapped in.

As Hub follows the man—Lan, he thinks reproachfully—and his companions out of the dilapidated facility, he gets a strong feeling of foreboding. Hub squints as the brunt of the sun hits his face, forcing him to shield his eyes from its rays.

He looks over when he hears Lan's enchanting laugh, the man giving him a lovely smile. Hub smiles back, tentative, thinking that he might as well see where all this leads to.

* * *

**some notes for anyone who's into that kind of thing:**

**\+ as you can guess, this is based off the japanese myth that star-crossed lovers get reincarnated as twins when they commit dual suicide. hub and lan didn't do that here, obviously, but they still died together, so that should still count? maybe?**

**\+ fun fact: i tried searching for this myth online for more info, but i found nothing…now i'm wondering if this myth has an actual basis to it…whatever the case, this fic used that myth for its premise so it's true as far as this fic is concerned**

**\+ the other "world" that hub goes to is the setting of megaman zero. i tried writing this in a way that you don't have to play the games from that series to understand what's happening here, but if you want to know more, check the megaman wikia and search for "elf wars"! that article should give a good idea of megaman zero's background. this fic takes place during that war, and hub is a regular reploid in the war while x/zero are the main protagonists.**

**\+ if it wasn't clear, the figure that kills hub/lan in the last dream is omega. at this point in the war, omega has been unleashed and is going to wipe out a majority of the human/reploid population.**

**\+ who was responsible for granting lan's wish? well, that's up to interpretation, lol.**

**\+ my initial prompt for this fic was that hub and lan had a previous life together and then they got reincarnated, with the twist being that lan had no memory of that life. that previous life could have been anything, but i thought it would be fitting if i chose a setting that was still megaman-related. by the way, hub/lan didn't reincarnate again for centuries, so a lot of time passed from the elf wars to what is the "present," which is basically modern day. i'm not sure if i pulled it off well, but i had fun!**

**\+ my initial prompt also included that hub finds out lan liked him back. when i saw this, i had already decided that this fic would have an open ending—it wouldn't be happy, but it wouldn't be depressing either—in regards to whether hub/lan pursued a relationship after finding out about their past lives. the reason for this is because i thought about this fic somewhat realistically: hub is fine with his feelings since he has that whole other life to convince him, but lan wouldn't have even considered hub in a romantic light unless an outside force interfered. as you can see, i decided on an ending that's both optimistic but also kind of vague? it might seem unfulfilling since there's all this build-up to it, but i'm satisfied with it.**

**\+ also a brief shoutout to my co-creator of this au! i'm not sure if you're going to read this fic since it's been a long time and you've already moved on to other fandoms (which i'm guilty of as well). i know a lot of the things we discussed didn't even make it into the final product, lol! we had a lot of great ideas, especially of how their past lives could have been like and how lan might have fallen in love with hub without the aid of the memories, but i just couldn't incorporate it ;-; maybe one day i'll do those ideas justice.**

**this took WAY too long. as of the date of posting, this fic is probably the longest thing i've ever written, which makes me feel pretty good. another fun fact: i actually did not think i was going to write this. at all. it's not that i have anything against this fandom/ship, but i have this habit that after writing a few fics for something, i get burned out and lose motivation to write anymore for that particular fandom/ship. i could still have so many ideas left, but i feel too tired to actually expand on them.**

**but then i saw all these nice little comments people have left on my other fics for this ship, and it really inspired me! you guys were so kind and patient, i felt i had to do something to show my appreciation, so i went back to my ideas and started writing this. imagine my surprise when i thought i was going to write something short and it ended up becoming my longest piece!**

**i'm going to be honest and say that i've reread and edited this only twice. normally i would be more dedicated to editing this until it reached my standards, but i wanted to put this out before school got into full swing and /kicked my ass/ i mean left me with barely any free time to truly fix this. i'll probably get back to it again once i have break and maybe make some minor edits. or maybe i won't, lol.**

**as always, apologies for [the unnecessarily long author's note] any mistakes, and thanks for reading!**


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